Norway, Land of Roadworks: Norway #3

(Photos to be added later!)

Good morning humans of the world, I finally slept through the light of early morning! Carol said we should set off early today but I don’t really know what the plan is and I don’t really know.what time early is… My planning skills for this trip are top notch. Larry is still dead to the world, which is fair enough because he was awake yesterday for about 21 hours, riding on only 4 hours sleep. 

I will start making actual noise at around half 11, that’s early enough to be early but late enough not to be cruel. Yes. Good plan me.

Okay. I’ve uncovered the plan! Kind of. We’re going to stay with his girlfriend, I think, until Sunday. We’re driving down today and doing stuff until Sunday, which is pretty cool. 

Larry emerged at around quarter past 11, played with the cats for a little while and then asked if I wanted to go shopping with him. Of course, if Italy was anything to judge by, foreign supermarkets are amazing and exciting! Whilst driving down to the supermarket I saw the oddest contraption ever. You know those rowing machines that young school children are forced to endure in the torture sessions known as ‘PE’? It was like that…. only it had a human inside in full cycle gear and riding down the hill like it was the most normal thing in the world. Probably the weirdest thing I’ve seen so far in my travels and I’ve experienced some odd things.
To be honest, the supermarket was not as exciting as the one in Italy was, but they did have those super amazing pulley basket thingymablobs, why has Britain not started using them yet? Like. Seriously. Why? Best invention ever. I considered buying sweets, but I think I’d be better off buying some at a later date, if I can. Sweets are probably going to be my souvenir for the family unless we find some cute/cool Norwegian trinket shops. I had a nosey yesterday but I couldn’t find anything. Boo.
One thing I did find interesting was the garbage monster. Some sort of machine in a wall with a hole to put bottles into. You feed a bottle through and it tallies them up with a whir and a groan. Larry judged me for making the monster go omnomnom~ every time a bottle went through, it was quite funny. We then waddled around to the next shop, it felt like a low-key Norwegian version of B&Q, looking for a second cat cage to transport the cats in our journey today. You can’t leave the kitties on their own!! 

Before walking out Larry spotted a small cafe with sandwiches and hot dogs on offer, he asked me if I wanted anything. Afraid of the prices I said I was okay, but he kindly brought me a bacon wrapped hot dog and chocolate milk anyway. It was sooo good. I love hot dogs. The milk was also a lot thinner then the milkshakes you find in England, it was actually milk like instead of a thick puddle. What is it about me and the thickness of my chocolate drinks in countries? First Italy and now Norway! Maybe I just drink a lot of chocolate milk.

I had a quick shower when we got back to the apartment, I needed one. Then I shoved the things I’d need in my spare bag; a spare t-shirt, swimming costume, charger, underwear and toothbrush. I think I have everything I might need. Larry is currently in the shower so I’m going to read a book till he’s done. See you all later when we reach Kristiansand.

It took 3 hours to reach our destination, it was only meant to take 2 I swear. The mewing kittens called out from behind us, desperate cries in symphony pleading for release, only pausing to nap in the summer heat before beginning again. The traffic stretched for only a few miles but the snail pace speeds made them last an age. The fjords, mountains and trees passed by, half in an awe inspiring view, half as just trees. So many bloody trees. It was quite gorgeous though, contrast to the never ending fields of England. We made some conversation along the way, the awkward silence is decreasing. We’re getting there. Slowly.

At around 5pm we arrived at his girlfriends house in Arendal, the place where Elsa spread her wings and became an independent woman who don’t need no man. 

Outside the door was a couple, who greeted us both with a nod, I politely nodded back and proceeded to follow Larry round like a lost puppy. Larry ran inside and greeted his girlfriend with a hug, leaving me blinking wide eyed and cautiously walking into the house. Whilst he retrieved the bags, I carried on following him, clutching my things unaware of what was happening around me. Suddenly realising my lost and forlorn look, he quickly ushered me upstairs where I in turn carried on looking lost alone in a sitting room. Carol saved me by showing me where to put my stuff and letting me help carry watermelon and Danish pastries out onto the balcony. The couple from downstairs introduced themselves to me as Carols grandparents, however their limited English stopped them from conversing further. The male, I have forgotten his name, ushered me into a seat in which I sat down and sipped the squash someone had provided me with. Slowly everyone else joined me whilst I cautiously stole tidbits of watermelon from a nearby plate. They conversed in Norwegian, leaving me to carry on nibbling on water melon, soothing my social awkwardness in.the situation. Suddenly the grandfather stood up, took the plate of pastries and offered me one, I took one with a quiet ‘Takk.’ the Norwegian word for thank you. ‘Good girl!’ he praised in Norwegian, apparently the appreciation of learning a language does not only apply to Russia. Yay me~!

Their parting was quite abrupt, Larry and I were both surprised when they suddenly got up and announced they were leaving. Silence. KITTENS! I played quietly with the kittens for a small while until the other two decided to start making dinner. A few moments passed and then Larry went out to get, I think, some cream of some sort. In hopes of offering my services in help, I wandering into the kitchen to find Carol carving into a slab of frozen mince, struggling desperately.. I question if I can help…. but I honestly don’t think I could do anything. I linger unhelpfully until Larry gets back, making small talk about frozen mince. When he returns his strength in life proves useful and is immediately more help then I ever was. 

By the time dinner is starting to cook, we’re talking about alcohol and school. Great combo, I know. Apparently Norwegians have this… tradition where they have to complete ridiculous tasks and earn points…. I can’t remember what it was called, otherwise I would have googled it as soon as I had internet…. but… some examples these include: crawling across a giant motorway bridge on all fours, having a lessons sitting under the desk or spending the day at school in your underwear…. The person who choses these tasks is a student elected as ‘president’, there is also a priest and a vice president, who knows what their role in this odd tradition is. But the tasks can get messed up as ‘give the president a blow job’. Excuse me, say what? But the weird thing? THE SCHOOLS THINK THAT THIS TRADITION IS NORMAL AND SANE! Norway is crazy. Does any one know the name of this thing, cause I’d swear they were screwing with me.

During our conversation the door bell rings and another young lady comes in, let’s call her Stacy cause I didn’t get her name. Now I didn’t get her name, I didn’t know who she was. Carol started to tell me an amusing story about her sister so I thought, maybe it’s her sister. No. Just a friend. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. But she came. That was a thing. Again. Limited English. 

Somehow we managed to stumble through a game of Cards Against Humanity, which I won… I feel like being the only one with the cards language down fluently has an unfair advantage… Poor Stacy had to keep double checking meanings of words on Google translate… oh well, she won a couple of games. We might watch a film after this, I don’t know what though.

Larry has made a BIG fudging mistake. The Zoo tickets tomorrow cost £60, not the £20 He thought they were… that’s like… all my money. I mean I have emergency money… but that’s also the money paying for me to take Larry to London… Crap. I don’t wanna go to the zoo anymore unless someone is willing to pay for me… like… seriously. This trip was a terrible idea, based purely on the fact that I can’t afford it… AND I’M ALREADY HERE. FFS. Help.
Well. I guess I can do this…but I’m not going to be able to do anything else. Omfg, why did I think this trip was a good idea.

Nope. Tickets were brought anyway. I’m paying for my own… I’m broke. I have… no money left. Fuck.

I’m going to bed a broke human. Good life plan. Go me. Jeez. Damn.

My most beautiful sister has said she’ll lend me money when I take Larry to London in exchange for me helping her do some stuff and physically paying her back when I have money.

Also… I think my coming has kicked Carols little brother out of his room…. Cause Larry just went into a bedroom which looks like a teenage boys room… and the teenage boy just walked into the living room with a pillow…. Great. Now I’m a home stealer as well.

To be honest. It’s done now. The tickets are brought. No use worrying over them, we’re going. I’ll just enjoy the zoo, hope we take a picnic, and worry about the money later. I might as well enjoy it now.that it’s happened and can’t be undone. Nothing else I can do I suppose.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s